Posted on by Cosmicknitter-ReginaMary

The Nature of the Beast

I haven’t said much about COVID-19 here because, honestly, it is mentioned practically everywhere, but I am going to take a moment to speak briefly about the virus.

This I personally know to be true:

It is stubborn. It is pervasive. It does not discriminate. It is an opportunist. It is multi-faceted. It is mysterious. It sucks. When we go out for groceries or for errands, no one, and I mean no one gets a text from a loved one or friend saying “don’t forget to pick up a virus while you are out.”

It’s not on our ‘to do’ list either. ‘clean the office, do laundry, pick up virus.’ The virus that found me was left behind by someone and it sat there just waiting for a host. Maybe it jumped on my hand, or found my clothes, but somehow, it found me, and if I am not careful, it will try to find someone else. Why? Bottom line…It is the nature of the beast.

Now, not everyone thinks this virus is a big deal. It is shocking, but some believe it isn’t real. Many people don’t socially distance themselves or wear masks when around people. Heck, we all know that person who isn’t even in the habit of washing their hands. Why? Bottom line…It is the nature of the beast.

The big buzz word out there lately is “self-care”. In order to be of any benefit to family, friends and colleagues, we have to be healthy in body, mind and spirit. While that makes perfect sense, self-care often comes with the temptation to only see things in a manner that is relevant to ourselves. That sounds perfectly natural, right? But when something bigger than our individual selves comes along, it may benefit us to look at the bigger picture first. I like to think of this as “other-care” This virus is big; it is bigger than our individual selves. Heck, this virus is global. This is a fact. Period.

I won’t lie. I have been experiencing a constellation of emotions along with the various symptoms. The one that bothers me the most is anger. This emotion grows deep roots; I would go so far as to say it has tentacles. I felt it trying to take up residence in my heart and it scared me. I spent one particular day sitting, praying, reading and writing. I turned to one of my favorite mystics, St. John of the Cross. In ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ he writes of the journey to become closer to God. He does so by starting out with an honest to goodness, no holds barred, sit down, pay attention and follow along look at the 7 deadly sins; the first of which is Pride. And that, my friends, did not resonate with me at first. Until I sat, and prayed and wrote some more. Then it clicked. Pride was at the root of my emotions. It is my pride that had me convinced people should do what I believed was right. They should act a certain way and follow the rules. If they didn’t, then I got angry. That is my pride. We are all individuals with the God given gift of free will. I will exercise mine, and by the same token, I need to accept the fact that others will do the same. This self-reflection was liberating for me. It started to loosen those tentacles of anger that tethered me and I began to feel lighter and more at peace. It was self-care on a deep and personal level. The virus knocked me on my keister, but my pride had the power to cause me the most harm. I love God, I love the ocean I love the weather, but I also have a healthy respect for their power. I can now add the power of this virus to that list.

Oh, I plan to exercise “self-care” by wearing my mask, social distancing and washing my hands, and by doing so, I will be practicing “other-care”.

There are no memes with this post, no cartoons or irreverent potty humor. I’m just not feeling it right now. I know you will understand because you are a supportive and lovely bunch of coconuts.

Be well, practice self-care and while you are at it, throw in a measure of other-care; it will do the world good.

Love to you all.

ReginaMary

55 Replies to “The Nature of the Beast”

  2. You know, I always rave about my wife and there is so much to rave about. But when I live through as difficult a time as any with her and see her handle adversity with this amazing grace, I know that God gave me the greatest gift I could ever imagine. I have a wife that can take all of this and have enough love for all of you and for all of the world and for little ole me! I love how her spirituality and faith collide with this awful disease and she emerges victorious again, in one way AND the other. It is her birthday on Sunday and I can’t help but think what a better world was born *^*&^ years ago. And what a better world we all have because of her love. From Razz to birds to flowers to watching the family eat something she created. She only knows how to give. This is turning into my own blog, but I’m so proud of how she bared it all to write this. As Dan Fogelberg wrote:

    Let me sing you a field full of waving flowers
    I’ll sing of the sun on the sea
    Oh this is the way that you make me feel
    Every time you smile at me

    Happy Birthday, Regina – sorry I stole your blog!

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  4. I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been ill! First – I pray for your continued recovering and that any lingering after-effects are eased. Beyond that, I am glad you wrote this. I, too, share that pride and the contempt and anger that comes with it. Your post has helped clarify that attitude for me; I’m grateful, and will be able to deal with it prayerfully now.

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  5. Sending good vibes your way, Regina! Your post – especially your analysis of your emotions – is thought-provoking, and helps me see things in a better light too. Hope you feel better soon.

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  6. Thank you Regina I needed to hear this! Yes, I’m guilty of that anger and pride too. How blessed we are too have a God who forgives and heals us 👐
    Happy birthday!
    I pray that you will feel and stay well real soon xxxx

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  7. I hope you’re soon fully recovered. I’m having to limit my social media time dramatically because the attitudes of a lot of people to the virus would make my blood boil if I wasn’t careful. Your thoughtful words make me realise that I need to be more accepting of the other points of view, although for me that will probably mean no more than trying not to feel that I’m choking keeping the responses I want to write inside me instead of giving vent to my frustrations.

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    1. Thank you, Pam. It is difficult to find a balance or know when, or when not to speak. I have a part of my brain where I allow profanities to run around loose and unsupervised! 🤣

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  8. Anger is an emotion that wells up in us all. The Collective is shedding hundreds of years of suppression from every culture, from every nation around the world.
    We were I’ll two weeks before Christmas with all the symptoms, which Drs here now say reports were happening before we were aware of it here in UK.
    If our daughter hadn’t given us some natural remedies for helping remove thick mucus which lasted for weeks along with our persistent cough that helped break the mucus. . I doubt we would have healed so well. Luckily our immune system is good.

    As for masks I have done some deeper research. And unless its made law here, I will not be wearing one. You understand why when drs themselves are speaking the truth about not wearing them.
    But then I don’t go anywhere!!

    The virus is real, only time will tell if it warranted the world to shut down.
    In the meantime I do what we need to do to keep others and myself safe. Keeping an open mind and using my own inner knowledge, finding deeper truths, on researching medical facts, I’ve learned a lot more on biology theses last few months. And on how viruses work. And this doesn’t fit the normal behaviour pattern of a natural virus.

    So all we can do Regina is do what we each feel comfortable doing. While being personally responsible for ourselves and others well-being.

    Back to Anger, me too, just accept those feelings, acknowledge them then breathe them through you. Letting them go.
    We are Human, in the human experience. These emotions and many others will surface now.
    The layers are shedding, as we birth the new.

    Much love my special friend. 💖💚💖

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  10. It has always been my view that I must do what is right for me so long as I don’t break the guidelines – actually I tend to do more than the guidelines as I’m cautious by nature. I do wear a mask when I go out although I know it does very little, if nothing, to protect me from infection, what it does do is keep people away from me and reminds me and those around me that life is not ‘normal’ at the moment and for me that’s important.

    Happy Birthday Regina, stay safe and well.

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    1. Yes to all of this, Alex! I even wear a mask while walking the dog in my neighborhood. It serves a reminder and a sign of my concern. I err on the cautious side too.
      Thank you for the birthday wishes!!!

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  12. My goodness, Regina, I hope your recovery continues, no doubt aided by your emotional intelligence and self reflection. Your awareness of the root of your anger is familiar to me. I have times of real anger in response to my inability to ‘make people understand’ or frustration at the lack of compliance with simple rules to help to make everyone safe. Your self awareness and humility is exemplary and I will try also to step back and focus on care for myself, my loved ones and other care. Thank you for an illuminating and helpful post.

    Be safe and relax, recuperate and recover.

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    1. Thank you, Lisa. I appreciate you. In spite of my hesitancy to publish the post, I am glad I did; it helped me realize that I am not alone in my feelings and that definitely aides in recovery! Stay well, my dear.

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  14. I am so so sorry to hear COVID attacked you. I am having a very difficult time understanding how especially vulneralbe people just won’t protect themselves . As a retired nurse, I had to put aside my feelings for years. Judge no one. Just be the nurse. Now I am full of judgement. I dont know if it is a bad thing . I wish people cared for each other and understood herd mentality. So you are ahead of me, and you are the patient . I need to take a lesson from you. I will pray you heal very quicly

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  16. Well gosh, that poked right at a nerve! I’ve been getting angry at non-maskers too, but I never stopped to think in any depth about why. Some food for thought.
    But more importantly I hope you’re well now or at least on the way there, and I’m sending lots of hugs and a cup of tea to help you on the way.

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  20. Glad that you are on the mend. I have to say, you made a lot so sense there about pride etc. I wear my mask when out shopping and in work and it does not bother me to wear it, I have been doing so for some time, but it really angers me when I see others giving excuses as to why to will not wear them, from “you can’t make me as it goes against our rights”, to “I cannot breathe with them on” to “I have asthma or COPD so don’t have to wear one”. People who have used the first excuse I have told them they are selfish and obviously have no respect for others and me. The second excuse I tell them to grow up (including my mother) and tell them that surgeons wear them for hours, even 12+ hours when operating and they never pass out or have oxygen-related problems due to masks, and the last excuse I explain that this is a respiratory disease, and having a respiratory condition you really need to wear them to protect you from something that could potentially kill you. I realise that my anger is lead by pride, so that is an eye-opener and does make sense. I will still wear my mask as I was born with asthma (thanks for smoking mum) and have a heart condition and would prefer to protect myself and my husband.

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    1. I find people can convince themselves of just about anything. My son showed me a meme that said “I wear pants when I am out in public not because they are comfortable, but because it is the right thing to do and it protects you. Wear the damn mask!” I damn near died!!
      I wear my mask for you, sir! Stay well, and keep on rockin’

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    1. You are a sweetheart! I am doing well, all things considered. I feel like my health is 90% restored. Still having a few cognitive issues, but I feel like I am progressing. Thank you for your thoughts!
      Have you been well?

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      1. Hi Regina… Yes thank you, we were quite ill in January and without my Daughters help in some alternative medicines I think we may have not recovered so well.. We had terrible coughs and mucus on lungs.. It took about six weeks before we felt better ,
        So please to know you are healing well.. Take care and much love ❤

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    1. Thank you! Yes, I have worked through the worst of it, I think. I honestly did not anticipate the emotional and psychological impact COVID would have on me, especially as I re-entered the workplace. I am grateful for the support from all of the caring people in my life (like you!), and I am infinitely grateful for my faith. As my daddy would say, “one day at a time, sweet Jesus!”

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